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"Okay,
let’s get right to the facts. I’m an April Winchell
groupie! I absolutely worship her and the legendary
radio show she produced here in Los Angeles. I
tend to become very sensitive to the goings on
in this world… and if you really open your eyes
and look around, you start to find VERY LITTLE
to laugh about… and it seems to be getting grimmer
and grimmer. I hide in my workshop as much as
possible, and when I’m crafting knives, I usually
have the radio on… to music. I never listen to
the news because if I did, I think I would end
up using one of my knives on myself rather than
making anymore!
However,
there was a magnificent ray of sunshine and hope
every Saturday night. I’m a bit of carouser… love
to play my guitar and sing at “open mike” nights
at bars, (you can see me at "Viva's"
in Burbank if you're in town!), and I must say,
I’m a hell of a
dancer… but no matter what was going on I
made sure to be
in my workshop on those wonderful Saturday nights
between 7:00 PM and 10:00 to listen to The April
Winchell Show! No matter how many cosmic rotten
eggs had been thrown at me throughout the week…
three hours of April had me smiling, singing bad
country western tunes, and hoping around my workshop
like Tom Cruise in “Risky Business” (but not in
my underwear… that’s an image that would cause
my neighbors to come after me with torches!).
For
a long time I wanted to give something back to
April for all the joy she had given me… and obviously
given a whole grinning crowd of grateful people.
I
know she was and still is, very involved in a
wonderful charity, Project
Angel Food… and I thought it would be great
to make an "April Winchell Limited Edition
Knife" and donate a portion of the profits
to her favorite cause as a way to say thank you.
Well, looking at a photo of April, I could see
that she was the quintessential 21st Century Wench…
so the very first inspired concept that came to
mind was to make a bodice knife… just like the
ones real wenches wore between their breasts in
medieval times to protect themselves. It didn’t
hurt that of all the woman in the world, perhaps
no one is more… well, "blessed by nature",
shall we say, than April Winchell, to be able
to “hold” a bodice knife where God intended bodice
knives to be… well... held. (Excuse me, I think
I may need to take a cold shower before continuing
here!).
Once
it was finished, I sent April the custom knife,
which I dubbed the “Wench-ell” knife (get it,
because she’s a wench… and her name is, you know…
and… I’m just saying…). I also had crafted matching
sterling silver earrings and a necklace from my
own design. After creating this gift, I realized
I could keep the “thank you’s” coming by making
a Limited Edition of the knife and the jewelry
and donate a major portion of the profits to her
charity.
 After
I sent the knife and jewelry to April, she magnanimously
wrote right back with the most wonderful "fan"
letter I've ever received. The most terrific part
of it was the end where she actually said:
"Thank you, Chuck, for all your support and
kindness. You are a wonderful man, and a great
artist!"
Yikes!
I have received many citations, awards and testimonials
in my life, but that e-mail from April means more
to me than anything. I have it framed and it is
hanging in a very special place in my workshop!
However,
as is the case with all great things in the world
today, "The April Winchell Show", the
most innovative, brilliant radio show ever produced,
was cancelled by the rat bastards at Clear Channel
and the whores at LA radio station KFI, who have
permanent knee pads to the Jackboot Nazi DJ storm
troopers who populate their stations... so they
were naturally offended by April's irreverent
humor. (They are now in the process of digging
up the graves of SS officers in Paraguay and getting
enough DNA to create new DJ's to do their brown-shirt
bidding). Pissed? You bet your sweet ass I'm pissed!
I mean, Saturday nights will never be the same
again!
It
is a loss for me, and for all of Los Angeles,
and those around the world who would listen to
her show off her website. But not to worry, because:
APRIL
IS BACK!!!
Yes,
you can hear her again, the second and last Friday
of every month from 9:00 PM to 12:00AM (PST) on
KABC 790AM on the "MR. KABC" show, or
if you're not in LA, go to their website, www.kabc.com
and hear it in "streaming audio" live
on Friday nights! I mean, you can't stop a treasured
talent like that for long. (By the way, for all
the KGB, CIA and Hitler Youth Organizations from
Clear Channel, KFI and their bitch of a program
director, and whom ever else monitors these kinds
of things, this is the opinion of the "knife
maker to the stars", so leave April alone,
and do what you do best... hang out at school
yards making dates with the youngsters!)
That
is why this limited edition has an even great
importance.. it's not only for a wonderful cause...
but is now a homage and tribute to one brave magnificent
lady! It's also a great gift for a loved one in
your life… that woman who has everything… and
for all the “Goth’s” out there… and we know you’re
out there, since April loves to read your personals
and poetry… I mean… what’s better than dagger
earrings and a necklace. Oh, and if only Billy
Bob and his ex-wife, what’s-her-name, were still
around… I mean… is this perfect or what?! So help
a good cause, and get an incredible bargain on
my first online one-of-a-kind Limited Editions!
If this isn’t more bang for your buck, I don’t
know what is!"
Learn
more about the amazing April by clicking on her
beautiful picture:
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